Baby It's Cold Outside

What is the meaning of life?

Listen to the whispers and obey them.

Sarah threw the phone against the wall. She cried out. No one heard her.

She picked up the phone. She threw it against the wall again. She wanted to make it cry. Unfortunately plastic never sheds tears.

Writing these papers will be the death of me.

I keep thinking that I just need to get it done. I just need to accomplish it. It doesn't have to be good, it just has to be out of me. It just has to get down on paper. I'll fix it later. I'm good at fixing things, sometimes. It's not getting down on paper. It's not getting anywhere because I'm not getting anywhere. Why is everything so forced? I'm tired of forcing this out of me. I'm tired.

Dear Anthony,

It's been a while. I find myself thinking about you often and much. We've had years apart and its so much time wasted. So much time without your friendship and companionship. I don't want to remember you with bitterness, only the kindness I know is in your heart. I remember our first conversation. You hated me. I hated me. It's okay that you hated me. I guess what I'm trying to say is what I've always been trying to say. I'm sorry. I was pathetic and arrogant. I was selfish and unkind. I was everything that I'm not. I called for feelings that I don't have.

It's been years and in that time I've become so much more. I've lost a lot of who I was. I'm proud of that. I used to be so accomplished. I suppose I still hold that, but it doesn't matter anymore. I've lost everything and I'm picking the pieces back up again. It's not a bad thing. It's not a bad thing at all.

You've been trying to figure yourself out. I respect that. It's been a similar journey on this end. On this coast.

Do you remember our TV show phone calls?

I do.

It's what I think about the most.

I guess I'll be seeing you soon. I hope I'll be seeing you soon.

This isn't supposed to be anything special. This was never anything special. I was never anything special. I'm sorry if I've taken up more time than you would have liked for my non-sense.

It seems to be all I'm good at these days.

I hope you play Damien Rice and think of me.

I want to run into a bee-hive and lounge in the honey. I want to be a part of the sunshine. I want to create the moon. I want dominion over the waves. I want to eat my weight in happiness. I want to dance on books. I want tables to dance on me. I want a tipsy-topsy-tervy kind of world. I want to move in and around time. I want all the things I already have.

Cigarette's & Chocolate Milk

He danced in circles, round and round. Feeling the blood rush through his body. Wanting to make the blood feel like it was gushing out of his body. He swayed with the rhythm. His body frantic. His muscles flailing. He spent his nights this way. Sweating. Drinking. Dancing. & dancing. & dancing. Everyone was dancing. & nothing could tough him then.

He left with everyone.

For a leader, he followed often. He took interest in their activities and in doing so took a few drags from the lit cigarette's. He held the smoke in his lungs. He felt like a summer night. A camp fire. A light burning brightly in the darkness. It felt right. For once something felt right. Something besides dancing. Something felt right. It lifted him. He weighed the consequences. He weighed them and it strained him. It broke him.

It was a joy of life. A deadly habit that him feel all the more alive. Isn't that always the way? Things that make you feel the most alive are the things meant to kill you. You always want what you can't have. You dream of something better, but don't realize what you have in front of you until it's gone. Isn't that always the way?

Warhol said that "life is just a series of images that change as they repeat themselves." This carries a lot of truth. What he left out was that the series is masochistic in nature. Maybe he found it too obvious to share? Maybe it eluded him?

Maybe is just a word that slays you.

Losing the feeling of feeling unique

I'm Swell.

It's pandering.

Genius or a lunatic.... Don't they go hand-in-hand?

Kinsey 5

I want my life to be like an 80's movie.

"Things have changed for me. & that's okay. I feel the same. I'm on my way..."