Dear Anthony,

It's been a while. I find myself thinking about you often and much. We've had years apart and its so much time wasted. So much time without your friendship and companionship. I don't want to remember you with bitterness, only the kindness I know is in your heart. I remember our first conversation. You hated me. I hated me. It's okay that you hated me. I guess what I'm trying to say is what I've always been trying to say. I'm sorry. I was pathetic and arrogant. I was selfish and unkind. I was everything that I'm not. I called for feelings that I don't have.

It's been years and in that time I've become so much more. I've lost a lot of who I was. I'm proud of that. I used to be so accomplished. I suppose I still hold that, but it doesn't matter anymore. I've lost everything and I'm picking the pieces back up again. It's not a bad thing. It's not a bad thing at all.

You've been trying to figure yourself out. I respect that. It's been a similar journey on this end. On this coast.

Do you remember our TV show phone calls?

I do.

It's what I think about the most.

I guess I'll be seeing you soon. I hope I'll be seeing you soon.

This isn't supposed to be anything special. This was never anything special. I was never anything special. I'm sorry if I've taken up more time than you would have liked for my non-sense.

It seems to be all I'm good at these days.

I hope you play Damien Rice and think of me.