I'm not sure what I can or should write about... not there is necessarily anything proper about the content of writing that I can (must?) provide, but I don't really have any other reason to write then to.. well, write. I find it more and more relaxing just to let everything flow into the post.. and its really hard not to delete and change things, but I'm really, really trying (actually right there I messed up on the second really and I deleted it and re-made it... but at least I'm being honest about that right?). I'm not quite sure how to handle things right now, everything still a little up in the air and I don't know how to function or what to do. I've tried scheduling a skype date with my best friend, Nikki, but it keeps failing/slash we keep failing and its just becoming a prodlem, problem, excuse me because I need to aalk by which I mean talk to her and she really needs to talk to me and ahhhh. Why is Wellesley not 5 minutes away? That would make my life so much better and hers as well. I also recently discovered the huge part of my personality that is uber passive/aggressive to a point that it actually is starting to annoy me and I never realized it before.. until I started really analyzing the conversations I was having with people and my reactins (reactions) to their comments. I really need to work on myself and on my responsibilities rather than on other things outside of my control...which happens to be what I'm best at, wanting to control things that are actually completely and utterly out of my realm of control and knowledge.

I really don't want to go on a rant about my issues and my flaws when there are so many other things that I would rather disuss (discuss). For example, in gender, sexuality or as I basically just refer to it as, Queer Theory there is never really any discussion of the so called "metrosexual" and if there is its only slightly touched upon, which I find interesting and a bit disconcerting considering how this entire branch of theory really focuses on individual identities and the understandings of those identities in a larger social construct and the interactions that happen within. I bring this up simply because the other night at about 3 am I had an hour long conversation with a dear friend of mine discussing queer theory and its many facets (mostly since I'm incredibly fascinated by it and because it has much more significance to me) and he brought up his own metrosexuality. Which was rather interesting and tad entertaining because he realizes that everyone questions his sexuality and he's become fairly comfortable with it (mostly because he's had to) and that really struck me because it reminded me once again about not type-casting people based on their looks and interests, or type-casting based on anything... basically don't type cast. Or how its important for us to know about someone's sexual identity as that is then a defining part of them instead of a just a part of them that helps in the picture of defining them... essentially the way sexuality is viewed by many people is that it is the central part of ones identity and I really just find that appalling.

I think that I want to continue talking about this at some other date, but right now I have a ton of reading to get done and then I need to sleep.

A demain!