Time

It's going by a little too quickly. It can't be the second week of November. It can't almost be Monday. It can't be daylight savings time. It can't be nearing Thanksgiving. It can't be nearing the end of the semester. It can't be and yet it is. Time is going too fast. It doesn't slow down. I understand that. I get that time moves quickly. I get that time flies. I get that time is time and it moves in a linear fashion. I get all of this. I don't get what I've done with my time. I don't get how so much can have happened in this seemingly large amount of time and all I can think about is how it felt like yesterday. How it all seems to have collapsed into each other. I can't fathom how quickly things change and how quickly things come and go and how there's never enough time to do what actually matters and be with the people you should be with and do the things you should do and live the life you should live and just be and just be happy. Life is too short and its a fascinating and scary thing. I'm only 19, I shouldn't be thinking about these things. I shouldn't be worrying about these things. I shouldn't be worrying, period. It takes too much time and effort and energy that I simply don't have. It's a fruitless endeavor and yet it seems to also be the easiest. To lose oneself to worry is probably the most natural thing, and also the dumbest. I feel like I've been locked into this ivory tower and everything outside of it is strange, foreign and almost nonexistent. I'm ready for...whatever I'm supposed to be ready for. I'm excited for whatever I'm supposed to be excited for. Yet I'm petrified of everything I shouldn't be afraid of.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I never know where I'm going with these things. I never want to know. It's more exciting that way.