I've been in Pennsylvania with my best friend and my mother. It's actually exactly what I needed. I needed to get the fuck away from Brown. I needed to focus on things in my life other than school and work. I feel so much better.
I watched Waiting for Superman with my best friend, Raquel. It was...it was amazing. I needed that film to give me some perspective on my privilege and my work ethic. I need to work harder. I needed to study harder. I need to focus more. I've been given so much. I'm incredibly fortunate and I don't take advantage of it. That's so stupid of me. That's incredibly stupid of me. I feel like I shouldn't have these opportunities if I don't utilize them. If I am consistently letting them pass me by. The film itself looked at the educational system of the US specifically focusing on the underprivileged and impoverished and their limited access to decent education. It also broadly looked at how the US has stagnated. We're not improving. We haven't been improving. The rest of the world has. It did solidify the fact that I will be doing Teach for America after grad school. It's going to happen. I can't be given this education, be given these opportunities while the rest of the country isn't and do nothing to help them, sit back and let the country stay in ignorance and a vicious cycle of poverty when I can do something about it. Voltaire ended Candide with "Il faut que cultivations nos jardin" which means "we must cultivate our garden." It means that we can't just sit around and ideally theorize, we actually have to do something; we have to do good works; we have to make this life meaningful. I feel like a different person.
... Actually, I feel like the person I used to be. I'm sorry I lost that. It won't happen again.
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